Dear Editor,

I wanted to write a letter concerning PDA. When in the hallway, I am not interested in being sidetracked by people who act as if their only goal in life is to procreate as quickly as possible.

Love is great. It has been the basis of many great works and created many amazing things (like babies). While it does not stimulate learning, it does stimulate other things.

It feels as if these couples, deeply in love, display PDA simply to rub it in the faces of the single masses. Do these couples even consider the feelings of other people whilst eating each other’s faces off?

I was diagnosed with ADD as a child (which is another problem in and of itself), and for people like me this is a real problem. I walk into class dazed and confused and more than disgusted by the public displays of affection that I have just witnessed.

Couples lurk under the stairwells and crouch in the corners of the school, expressing their deep levels of undying high school affection– when we all know that they are going to break up over something stupid anyway. When walking by them, they look like they are performing some sort of ancient wrestling match.

We need to have punishments for these offenders. They should experience the same level of utter terror that is experienced every day by common passerby. I think that a good form of punishment should be to wear a turtleneck and floor length skirt to school every day for the rest of the year and see how many make out sessions they get then. This applies to both males and females.

To sum up my letter, this should not be allowed. At least, not until I get a boyfriend.

Sincerely,

Jillian James