Dawson’s Bleak; Teen Girl Discovers Negative Effects of ‘90’s Melodrama On Her Mental Health
Julia Harrison, Opinion Editor
April 3, 2015
Summer of 2014: I lie entirely immobile, maybe paralyzed but too lazy to check, in a bed of unwashed sheets littered with the crumbs of dozens of NutriGrain bars. Something rustles and squeaks beneath the piles of clothes and candy wrappers. What might be maggots scurry across a plate encrusted with ...
Thirty, Flirty & Crash Diving Into A First Date
Julia Harrison, Opinion Editor
February 5, 2015
My friends and I walk through the streets of Staunton in Patagonia vests, knitted scarves, gloves and headbands, fighting the bitter cold and complaining about how windy it is, reapplying Burt’s Bees or Vaseline or those weird egg-chapsticks every five minutes. We drop into a vintage store where...
Excerpts From A Teen Journal Entitled, “I Went On A Date With Holden Caulfield Once And He Didn’t Like Me”
Julia Harrison, Opinion Editor
January 6, 2015
All I’m saying is, Travis Koshko better get his facts straight because I’m tired of waking up at 7 a.m. and rolling out of bed on mornings that, according to Mr. Koshko, the ground “will be coated in snow” but is, instead, coated in wet rain. All I’m saying is, I don’t think it’s an...
Stopping Rape From the Source
Bailey Bush, Business Editor
December 19, 2014
Wallet, lipstick, keys, smartphone and pepper spray: all items that are supposed to be in my purse. Not too short of a skirt, not too tight of a top: what I’m supposed to wear in order to not be “asking for it.” “Don’t get too drunk.” “Don’t go to frat parties.” “Always keep a few ...
Black Thursday: The Thanksgiving Evening of a Retail Worker
Sarah Lemley, staff reporter
December 4, 2014
Faster than a stampede of wild horses, customers began shuffling into the now-opened store. As I stand in awe, these eager individuals began plunging their way into the many stacks of sweatshirts and jeans on the tables. As I witnessed the dozens of feet shovel around me, I felt like Mufasa as he's...
Black Friday Shopping Stops the Holiday Cheer
Ashley Bond, Staff Reporter
November 27, 2014
Black Friday shopping has become the epitome of what’s wrong with American families today. On Thanksgiving Day, families have lost the tradition of taking six hours to roast a turkey, while simultaneously drinking sparkling cider and reliving that time when Uncle Jimmy spilt the green...
Listen Deliberately
Julia Harrison, Editorials Editor
November 13, 2014
I’ve skipped school (sorry, Ms. Grimm), as I always do for too many days in October, to spend a day wandering through the woods. The walk began with my changing Spotify playlists four different times from “Deep Focus” to “Autumn Acoustic” to “Afternoon Acoustic” to eventually “calmin...
Open-Faced Sandwiches: Can One Slice of Bread Make All the Difference?
Julia Harrison, Opinion Editor
October 10, 2014
Open-faced sandwiches are impractical and weird-looking and kind of an obnoxious thing, really, like J-Woww’s boob job or studded heels or that wart on your thumb. But more disturbing than the sandwich itself,are the kind of people that get open-faced sandwiches! Here you are, unwillingly sittin...
Seniors Say “Auf Wiedersehen”
Alexa Hodges, Online Editor
May 16, 2014
Wow. That is all that I can say about these past couple of months. Wow, I can’t believe it’s senior year. Wow, I can’t believe I am applying to college. Wow, I can’t believe that I got into a college. Wow, I can’t believe that I will be leaving everything I’ve ever known behind. Just wow. I...
Bloom Where You Are Planted or Planting Blooms: Metaphorical Horticulture for the Young Adult
Julia Harrison, Copy Editor
May 14, 2014
An unexpected fire drill around noon on a Tuesday. I was searching for my somehow lost backpack in the library when the bell rang and I was shuffled out to the student parking lot. The teachers screamed repeatedly, and in vain, “off the pavement!” I hummed “Burnin’ Up” to myself and kicked...
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