New Years Resolutions

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Since the world isn’t ending, you still need to worry about New Year’s resolutions. These resolutions pose a problem for many people: they promise themselves impossible things and give up before the end of January.

The Revolution staff has a better solution to the resolution conundrum. This year, resolve to make improvements that benefit both you and the AHS community. These changes will make you a better person and make other people hate you less.

1. Park your car properly.

The school has been kind enough to give students slightly-larger-than-average parking spots. Despite this, certain students don’t seem to be able to fit their tiny sedans inside of the white lines. Here’s a message to those people: the people with spots around you hate you. All of your car should be inside the lines.

2. Flush the toilet…

This is pretty simple. School bathrooms are already disgusting. Don’t make them worse.

This isn’t the only way to fix the bathroom situation. No one wants to face an unflushed toilet, but someone has to be the person who flushes the toilet. These people are beacons of hope that shine against the damp tile floors.

3…and wash your hands.

Even though school nurses and concerned mothers have been hammering in this point since kindergarten, it still needs repeating. Wash your hands. It helps cut down on germs and makes you less disgusting. Just know that if you walk out of the bathroom without washing your hands, people are (rightfully) judging you.

4. Walk in straight lines.

As mentioned in the October issue, many students have a problem walking to class in an orderly fashion. The New Year is an excellent time for these people to make an important change in their lives. In 2013, strive to make AHS’s hallways more peaceful and less like  congested tortoise highways.

5. Don’t ask stupid questions.

School is plagued with students who don’t think before they speak.  In the words of Mrs. Ainsworth and Ms. Pavlo, there are stupid questions. Qualifying statements include, “Is it okay to take a tapeworm to lose weight?” and “Does the rest of the world have time zones?”

The Revolution staff hopes that AHS can commit to all of these resolutions, thus making 2013 a better year.